When you go to a doctor, usually you bring symptoms. You’re looking for a diagnosis—and a solution to fit that diagnosis. Patient: My arm hurts a lot! (symptom) Doctor: When did it start? Patient: Right after I fell out of a tree. Doctor: I see. The x-ray shows it’s broken. (diagnosis) Patient: Well, I did…
Our world of fiction is filled with evil characters who seek to dominate the world, immerse it in darkness, let loose destruction and mayhem, and do other “evil” things. While such stories can be entertaining, they contribute to an already less-than-responsible world and complicate accountability. Here’s how… Most people have good intentions. The majority of…
I just finished watching “What a Long Strange Trip It’s Been,” the newish documentary about The Grateful Dead, and I was stunned by what I learned about the life and untimely death of Jerry Garcia. There are lessons here about leadership, success, and facing one’s shadow that can rock your world (pun intended) if you…
Today we’re going to talk about Whataboutism, one of the most popular ways people deceive you. Early last year, the Oxford English Dictionary added the word whataboutism to its catalog: “The technique or practice of responding to an accusation or difficult question by making a counter-accusation or raising a different issue.” Whataboutism is the perhaps…
“I’m working on the mustard on my chin. It used to be way worse.” I helped a CEO (let’s call her Jane) of a financial services company identify her over-responsible tendencies and how she caused herself overwhelm. She was spread incredibly thin and wasn’t making time for what was most important. I discovered she had…
Last week in Part One, I discussed how I realized in the middle of having drinks with a friend that the lack of engagement I’ve been frustrated with in working with some of my clients pretty much exactly mirrors the disengagement levels shown in Gallup’s ongoing study. I’ve been coaching for seventeen years, and I’m…
When I re-launched my practice in 2016 as Clear and Open, it was in part to focus on engagement. I saw that all business problems come down to this. It’s the deepest root issue that my clients struggle with, and it’s what I’m most passionate about. Since then I’ve noticed I do a lot of…
“In an ideal world, there’d be no mustard on my chin. I agree with you, but we have to deal with the practical realities of the real world.” A client I’d worked with for years was moving a lot of meetings. That’s often a red flag. She was busy, but she was always busy. Something…
I recently asked a group of my members to define in two sentences what they got out of our work together last year and declare what they want to get out of 2019. Here was one participant’s response: Member: “In 2018, the group taught me how to notice and question behaviors I’d like to change…
Playing the underdog is a form of victimhood that forms a noble identity around the delusion of powerlessness and the fear of change. The deflection attracts good-hearted, sincere, hard-working people who truly mean well. However, their relationship to their own power is deeply conflicted. They unconsciously create an external world that matches their anxious inner…