Recent Blog Articles

Excuses, Excuses: The Work in Progress

“I’m working on the mustard on my chin. It used to be way worse.” I helped a CEO (let’s call her Jane) of a financial services company identify her over-responsible tendencies and how she caused herself overwhelm. She was spread incredibly thin and wasn’t making time for what was most important. I discovered she had…

Read more

Sometimes You Need to Lose to Make Space for What You’ll Gain

I’m not joking when I say what I’m most proud of is not killing myself. I lost everything in my life that mattered to me over the course of about 18 months. Just one piece of that was the 1,500 square foot home I owned in Oregon. Following some bad advice, I sold it at…

Read more

Remove Internal Resistance with Self Love—Not Self Discipline

There are scores of strategies to manage yourself, and I want to talk about the one most often forgotten: self-love. Anyone who has raised children knows that love doesn’t mean giving a person whatever they want. Self-love is no exception. One of the reasons I don’t like the term self-discipline is because it connotes forcing…

Read more

That One Time I Was a Corporate Spy and Got Fired for It

The second time I got fired, it was for corporate espionage. I’ve never told anyone this. In my mid-twenties, a few years before I became a coach, I recruited for high-tech companies in the Bay Area. I mostly hated it. It’s not uncommon practice in that world to “poach” employees from one company and move…

Read more
work-life balance myth

Your Engagement Problem is Worse than You Thought, Part 2

Last week in Part One, I discussed how I realized in the middle of having drinks with a friend that the lack of engagement I’ve been frustrated with in working with some of my clients pretty much exactly mirrors the disengagement levels shown in Gallup’s ongoing study. I’ve been coaching for seventeen years, and I’m…

Read more

Your Engagement Problem is Worse than You Thought, Part 1

When I re-launched my practice in 2016 as Clear and Open, it was in part to focus on engagement. I saw that all business problems come down to this. It’s the deepest root issue that my clients struggle with, and it’s what I’m most passionate about. Since then I’ve noticed I do a lot of…

Read more

Excuses, Excuses: Stock Language

I recently asked a group of my members to define in two sentences what they got out of our work together last year and declare what they want to get out of 2019. Here was one participant’s response: Member: “In 2018, the group taught me how to notice and question behaviors I’d like to change…

Read more

Excuses, Excuses: Does Being the Underdog Serve You?

Playing the underdog is a form of victimhood that forms a noble identity around the delusion of powerlessness and the fear of change. The deflection attracts good-hearted, sincere, hard-working people who truly mean well. However, their relationship to their own power is deeply conflicted. They unconsciously create an external world that matches their anxious inner…

Read more