Recent Blog Articles

When the actions don’t Make sense, look to the Unconscious where they will

Essential Evil or Unconscious Wounds: You decide

This is a story about human tragedy. That’s the content. But the context is far more important: it’s about how our childhood wounds cause suffering in ourselves and others if we don’t address them. Andrew was born to a financially comfortable but emotionally troubled family. While he was the fourth child, he was the first…

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The lie of the mind Is that you can feel love While you repress pain

Why Adults Aren’t Victims, Especially in Relationships Part 3/3

Part 3/3: Just Feel It First, a reminder that my next live course, Intuitive Leadership & Living begins June 22. You will complete the course with a stronger intuition than you start. That’s an asset for anyone. For leaders, it’s required. Dojo membership prices go up from $129/mo to $159/mo on 6/22, so now is…

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Triggers are either Curses, or blessings If you’re curious

Why Adults Aren’t Victims, Especially in Relationships Part 2/3

Part 2/3: How Triggers Are Gifts You Want To Unwrap Trigger Warning: I’m about to deconstruct your ability to play victim to triggers. In part one of this series, we reframed the victim-enabling concept of good versus evil with the relatively new idea of unconscious contributions to behavior. Because the concept of the unconscious is…

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The best thing about Thinking they’re bad is It means you’re good

Why Adults Aren’t Victims, Especially in Relationships Part 1/3

Part 1/3: How the Outdated Frame of Good Versus Evil Enables Victimhood Relationships are hard, right? It’s true, but they’re harder than they need to be. The inherent challenge of intimate relating is exacerbated by unconscious, flawed perspectives. What follows, most people in our world would find deeply offensive and impossible to swallow. It’s commonly…

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Self-confidence is too often a cover for incompetence

Why We Fatally Over-Estimate Ourselves

Before I address this important issue, a quick reminder that my next live course, Inquiry For Awakening begins this Thursday, March 30. Are you good at what you do? There are many managers in the world. In my experience, very few know what they’re doing. And for good reason, because leadership is so rarely taught that we’re…

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What is, is, What is not, is not, And that is all there is

Inquiry For Awakening

When I was a child, I had a recurring nightmare. Some terrifying force came to get me by moving further away. It attacked me somehow by moving away, which makes no sense, I know. And there was no “something,” that was what was so disturbing. It couldn’t be known, which made it even scarier. Nothing…

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Protections melt away When that which they guard Sees light of day

The Crisis of Intimacy

I’m writing on a subject I’ve not addressed before because there’s a lot of suffering these days in the domain of intimate relationships. In the last few years, I’m working more and more with couples as intimacy issues come to a head. Some believe that a cosmological shift happened in 2012 that is to credit…

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The path to greatness Is paved with failure We dare to embrace

The Beauty of Failure

The recognition of failure is a moment of success. What failures-in-progress are we engaged in? Democracy is failing because it’s based on the false assumption that the majority of the electorate is aware and informed, whereas the truth is that the most aware and intelligent people are always a minority. Plato and Aristotle knew this…

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You cannot change your Outsides without changing The you that created them

Real Change Isn’t On Your Terms

First, my next live course, Light and Shadow Themes begins this Thursday June 23 and runs an hour per week for eleven weeks. I’d love to have you join us. Also, recently released on my podcast is a series on the root of responsibility issues that pairs nicely with this article. After coaching for twenty years, I am struck…

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Desire to know, what you don't want to see, and see everything

Where Are You Incurious?

The Art of Asking Questions: Curiosity, Listening, and Intuition course begins live on Zoom this Thursday, March 31 2022 at 11:15 am PT. Most people think they are curious, but as I say so often, it’s not useful to make conclusions about oneself. Instead, be curious about where you’re incurious. The result of incuriousness is stagnation,…

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