Recent Blog Articles

Protections melt away When that which they guard Sees light of day

The Crisis of Intimacy

I’m writing on a subject I’ve not addressed before because there’s a lot of suffering these days in the domain of intimate relationships. In the last few years, I’m working more and more with couples as intimacy issues come to a head. Some believe that a cosmological shift happened in 2012 that is to credit…

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The path to greatness Is paved with failure We dare to embrace

The Beauty of Failure

The recognition of failure is a moment of success. What failures-in-progress are we engaged in? Democracy is failing because it’s based on the false assumption that the majority of the electorate is aware and informed, whereas the truth is that the most aware and intelligent people are always a minority. Plato and Aristotle knew this…

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You cannot change your Outsides without changing The you that created them

Real Change Isn’t On Your Terms

First, my next live course, Light and Shadow Themes begins this Thursday June 23 and runs an hour per week for eleven weeks. I’d love to have you join us. Also, recently released on my podcast is a series on the root of responsibility issues that pairs nicely with this article. After coaching for twenty years, I am struck…

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Desire to know, what you don't want to see, and see everything

Where Are You Incurious?

The Art of Asking Questions: Curiosity, Listening, and Intuition course begins live on Zoom this Thursday, March 31 2022 at 11:15 am PT. Most people think they are curious, but as I say so often, it’s not useful to make conclusions about oneself. Instead, be curious about where you’re incurious. The result of incuriousness is stagnation,…

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Because you feel it, It's true for you, And there may be truer

Your Feelings Don’t Matter…and They Matter

Before I dive into an explanation for this hopefully provocative headline, I want to let you know my next live course, The Art of Asking Questions, begins March 31, 2022. The individual’s experience didn’t use to matter so much, especially their feelings. Psychology is only about 120 years old and, prior to the late Renaissance, what the…

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Every beginning Requires an end to What wasn't working

The Power of Dead-Ending

The governing dynamic of change, I assert, is reaching a dead-end. We are all familiar with the concept of “hitting bottom,” but only those who’ve been there truly appreciate its power. Hitting bottom isn’t just for alcoholics, where the term is used widely in AA. It’s for all of us. The reason all of us…

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They don't work for money But for whatever fuels Their deepest dreams and desires

Why You Can’t Find/Retain “Good People”

Why should people want to work for you? At one time in the company’s history, Zappos had a wild feature they used to ensure engagement of new recruits. They called it, “The Offer.” Following the four-week training period, they offered new employees a $2,000 check to quit. You read that right. The late Tony Hsieh,…

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If every point of view Becomes more and more valid Then one day none will be

Making Sense of Our World

The mess the United States is in right now began over 500 years ago, with the invention of the printing press. If you let me explain (this is a long one!), you’ll gain a profound metaperspective that makes sense of what appears crazy, but isn’t. I find great peace in that and perhaps you will,…

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Accept me as I am Cries the love-starved child In each of us

How We Stay Small

Happy New Year! I hope your holidays were joyous. I’ve got an article today that will help you level up your power. Related, I want to first announce the upcoming live course, Claiming Self-Authority: Access to Authentic Power, which begins January 7, 2021. If you’ve considered becoming a member and want to start 2021 powerfully, this is an opportunity.…

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The hot coal you throw/At whom you judge/First burns you

Are You Backfiring?

A while back I wrote about the Backfire Effect. The effect, in short, is that when we receive information that doesn’t support what we want to believe, we tend to double down on the false belief. Recently about 70 million people in the U.S. voted for Donald Trump and many suffer from the Backfire Effect. It’s…

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